Day 199

Miss Charlotte Amalie ~

199 days of life baby girl. 193 spent in the hospital. 6 spent at home.

199 days of worry, of progress, of steps in the right direction one day, and steps in the wrong direction the next. 199 days of growing stronger. 199 days of growing.

Approximately 170 days of knowing what we were going to name you, around 185 days with a titanium clip in your heart, and more than 15,000 miles driven between the hospital and home.

Almost 60 of those days, Daddy has had to be away, and around 10 of those nights we've spent at the hospital, sitting by your bed, waiting for improvements, for updates, for any information at all.

You've had over 15 blood transfusions, numerous courses of antibiotics, and a total of five surgeries: One on your heart, three on your eyes, and one on your belly.

But more than that, more than any number can express, the past 199 days have brought us tiny smiles, a fuzzy head of hair, incredibly dry lips, and bright, bright blue eyes. They've given us huge successes, major improvements and undeniable miracles. We've watched you grow physically, and we've watched those around us offer strength.

We've learned that the smallest things can bring a huge high: seeing you track something with your eyes, watching you move your wrist, hearing that "suck, suck, suck" of the chupi in your mouth; the list is endless.

Charlotte, the past 199 days have brought us you.

Someday, Baby Girl, you'll read all of this. You'll read the weariness written between the lines. You'll recognize the worry, you'll see right through the updates and notice the concern. But I hope you can see past all of that, too. I hope you can see how proud we are of you. I hope you can read the relief we feel, I hope you can sense the faith we have in you.

I hope you grasp the incredible purpose that you have. The past 199 days have taught me so many, many things, not the least of which is to never, ever count you out. You have spunk, baby girl.

199 days of spunk.

~ Momma