I like to joke about Charlotte's prematurity. It's the way I handle things that would otherwise find kinda depressing. The thing is-- we have some pretty funny stories.
Not funny like "Knock, knock, Who's there?" kinda funny. But funny like, "Seriously?!? Can you believe how many stars had to align for that to even be possible?" kinda funny.
And when I joke about it, it's OK to laugh. Because I wouldn't be joking about it with you unless I felt comfortable with you. Because NOT laughing at it, makes the situation really, really sad. And I don't want to cry with you. I've cried enough on my own. I want to laugh with you.
What's NOT OK? Making jokes yourself. I know, it makes things unfair, but it's a simple rule. You can laugh at my jokes, you cannot make jokes yourself. My kid. My jokes. Got it?
'Cause really, when you say things like "Oh, you just didn't want stretch marks, eh? Ha ha ha," it makes me want to hit you. And I'm not a violent person. I would give anything to have a full term child-- yeah, even stretch marks. Yes, I'd love to be 60 pounds overweight if it meant my baby came at 40 weeks. So, No, I didn't deliver early to avoid weight gain. Those kinda jokes? Bad.
When I make light of something, it's because I have been through hell to get there. It's a rite of passage. And I need to be able to laugh about this journey sometimes, because otherwise, if I cannot laugh, the past 9 months have just been horrid. If I cannot find some humor in this journey, then I don't want to think about it at all.
But I'm not ready for your humor yet. Maybe in about 15 years.
Maybe.
If anyone makes jokes, there are plenty of us who have your back and would be happy to beat them up.
ReplyDeleteYou have enough to do.
Tonight I was telling Todd about some preemie photo contest and he was like "What's the prize? An upgrade to a full term baby?" And then he said "only someone with a preemie could make a joke like that." So, you're so right. :)
ReplyDeleteRight on Amanda!
ReplyDeleteThe one that killed me was the person that said "You just wanted someone else to watch your baby so you could sleep through the night? You know you could have just hired a night nurse for the amount of money that hospital is costing you" and I can talk about her toaster head but don't you dare mention it or mama bear comes roaring out!
agreed. . . . and i really like YOUR sense of humor, btw. epic, really.
ReplyDeleteAmen.
ReplyDelete